How NOT to Find a Group

We interrupt our discussion of things Arianrhod-related to bring an unscheduled rant.

I recently received an email that pretty much amazed me.

Our students have a meetup group, basically just an online calendar that keeps them in touch with where and when the next class is. It's private to our students, since the classes are often at the private homes of our teachers, and those addresses are not something for the general public. And of course, to join our classes you have to be accepted to our Seekers group.

Last night I happened to notice that three people had asked to join our meetup group, and I sent each of them a polite note explaining that it was a private group and inviting them to join our public forums here, as well as the meetup group in those persons areas where many of our students were publicly active.

I won't reproduce the email (actually TWO emails) I received from one of them, but he basically flipped out, suggested that our actions in having a private group were morally criminal, harming the Craft by "hiding in the face of diversity" and so on.

Here are some basic facts:

Public Groups

Occasionally larger areas are able to sponsor open meetups and public rituals. This is based generally on the ability of someone to provide a space to hold public meetings, classes and rites; the population of pagans in the area and the time schedules of the organizers. Putting together public groups and rituals takes an enormous amount of time and effort. Not all of us have that to spare.

In the Orlando area, where I used to live, for example, the WRCF (Wiccan Religious Cooperative of Florida) once had a thriving group which included several large and several smaller covens. However because of many issues, including the cost of renting space (yes, we had to pay to rent space from churches, parks and other venues to hold our public rites - it doesn't come free unless you own your own land) and the fact that many of the original and early-but-later organizers worked overtime to the point of burnout. the WRCF eventually faded.

There was a time when I personally ran the Environmental comittee, a twice-monthly Moon Circle, a monthly Bardic Circle, edited and published the newsletter, was active on the Clergy committee, was working on our program to begin teaching Wicca 101 classes as part of the WRCF and served on the Board. Yes, all at once. And that didn't include the fact that I was teaching my own students, pursuing my own studies and working full time to put food on my family's table.  And the other members of the Board were about equally busy.

I've heard that they are re-organizing and I very much wish them luck in their efforts.

At this time, in Orlando, Nyt and Breccia are fostering the Circle of the Sublime Elm meetup group. Though their membership hasn't yet climbed to the 500 or so members we once had in the WRCF, they and those who are helping them are putting in a great deal of time and energy. They do this out of the goodness of their hearts and the desire to help the pagan community grow.

Sadly, in public groups such as this, the rule of thumb is that about 10% of members actually put time into the group other than showing up at rituals. If you are fortunate enough to have a similar group in your area, do consider supporting them - with donations, perhaps, but actual work - someone to put up fliers, help send newsletters, run various committees, teach classes, organize rituals, and other real "labor" is often more necessary and appreciated.

Private Traditions and Teaching Groups

Most traditions and groups in the Craft have private covens and teaching groups. This is as it should be and pretty much as it has been, perhaps from time immemorial, certainly over the course of the last 50+ years since Gardner published Witchcraft Today.

Unlike public groups, you cannot just automatically join one of these Covens or Traditions. You must apply to the group and be accepted and admitted.

Some traditions have "Outer Courts" where you can attend some of their open rituals and get to know them. This gives them the opportunity to observe you and decide whether or not they feel you fit their style and will benefit from their company and teaching. And also whether or not you will benefit them, and the students they presently have.

Now you might think, "That's unfair!  I should be allowed to join any group I want!"

Well no. That isn't how it works.

Every group has a "flavor" of its own. If you don't fit their "flavor" then you may not be accepted. This isn't because you aren't a great person, but because they don't feel you fit them or they fit you. They don't feel you'll be HAPPY with them, and why would you want to invite someone who isn't going to be happy?

Me personally, I'm not interested much in Egyptian spirituality as one example. I wouldn't fit in a group that stressed the Egyptian gods. That's not because there's anything wrong with it or with me. It's just not a good fit.

Covens

Far more exclusive than a Tradition, a coven is a small group of magical working partners. If a coven desires you to join they will let you know. Do not ever bother to apply. Admittance to a coven must generally be through their knowledge of you and through consensual agreement that you belong with them.  They will then approach you.